For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

So, you're a girl, huh?

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

I'll punch ya!

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

I'm desperate, you'll do.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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