Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

you look like my mother

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!