Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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I'll punch ya!

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!