Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +55

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

thumb_up thumb_down -21

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down -69

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!