Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!