Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

thumb_up thumb_down +64

I'm desperate, you'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +13

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I'll punch ya!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!