He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!