Boy : Gurle: hi

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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I'll eat your poop

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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I think I shit myself

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!