Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!