He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!