- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book