- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? draws gun Moral: Pretty immoral

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book