On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!