- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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I hate you already.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!