- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book