girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +64

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

thumb_up thumb_down

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Eat me, I'm organic!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!