Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!