- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Guy texting random girl: u must b wearing space pants cuz ur as is out of this world no im wearing baseball pants cuz my as is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Boy : Gurle: hi

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Eat me, I'm organic!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book