Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

free candy....

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

will you marry me

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

I think I shit myself

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!