HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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free candy....

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!