Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

I think I shit myself

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Boy : Gurle: hi

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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