Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!