Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!