-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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