You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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will you marry me

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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