Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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haha

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!