Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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jack sanders

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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