HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!