are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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will you marry me

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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