Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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