- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 lies

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*