Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

thumb_up thumb_down -24

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

thumb_up thumb_down -68

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

thumb_up thumb_down -84

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

thumb_up thumb_down -151

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

thumb_up thumb_down +88

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!