As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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