girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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jack sanders

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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