(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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