- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

jack sanders

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book