Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Boy : Gurle: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Put the lotion on the skin!

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

thumb_up thumb_down +42

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!