violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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hey bitch

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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whats up ho

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!