What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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hey bitch

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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whats up ho

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!