Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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hey bitch

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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whats up ho

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Glass Basketball

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!