- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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whats up ho

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!