good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

hey bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -181

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

thumb_up thumb_down -199

hey you look like a good practice girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!