-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I've got candy.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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whats up ho

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!