ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Have you met Ted?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!