can i take a dump in your mouth?

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Have you met Ted?

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!