-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!