- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

I have a really big..... Bank Account

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book