Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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