Give me some sugar... honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

thumb_up thumb_down +106

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

thumb_up thumb_down -96

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

thumb_up thumb_down +171

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

thumb_up thumb_down

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +230

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

thumb_up thumb_down +187

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!