I have a really big..... Bank Account

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Golf.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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You look exactly like my sister.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!