- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

I have a gun.

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

Stop Footing Around

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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