-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

Im gonna rape you..

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

why are you you touching me ????

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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