- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Stop Footing Around

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book