I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Im gonna rape you..

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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why are you you touching me ????

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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