Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +180

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +147

fancy going halves on a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

thumb_up thumb_down -63

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -79

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +156

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +182

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!